Defining Happiness
Seven or eight years ago while I was on my afternoon break at work, a colleague and friend came into the staffroom and out of the blue asked me "are you happy?" I replied without hesitation "define happiness," thus prompting a very quick exit stage left from said colleague who was obviously not in the mood for a philosophical debate. The question and my answer has played on my mind ever since, partly because I am still working on a definition of happy. You see, happiness is very hard to define and can mean many different things to many different people. According to my favourite (and ancient dictionary) Virtues English Dictionary, Encyclopaedic Edition (Editors Richard Ferrar Patterson, M.A., D.Litt. & John Dougall, M.A., D.Sc.) to be happy is:
'being in the enjoyment of agreeable sensations from the possession of good; contented in mind; highly pleased with one's self and one's position; satisfied; fortunate; successful; secure of good; bringing or attended with good fortune; prosperous; propitious; favourable; well suited for a purpose or occasion; well devised; felicitous; apt; living in concord or friendship.'
I think you will agree that that is quite a lot to take in. Happiness is certainly hard to pin down and I think that is partly due to the fact that it can be so closely intertwined with love. Research has in fact proven that it is not wealth, success or even good health that increases our happiness but social relationships. Good friendships, and a good social life play there art when it comes to happiness but apparently marital status is one of the strongest demographic predictors of happiness with married people reporting higher levels of happiness than single people. Hmmm, I wonder. Happiness and love are slippery little buggers. Happiness - and I'm sad to say, sometimes love too - is not only elusive but it is also transient. It is something to be glimpsed only on occasion. My colleague and friend did eventually gave me their definition of happy: "happiness is when you have a rainbow in your brain". An obscure definition but once again we have that feeling of a short-lived if beautiful emotion, and I suppose happiness is a bit like a rainbow in the sense that it is fleeting, appearing suddenly to brighten our lives only to quickly fade away.
The problem with happiness as I see it is that today's culture is pushing it as a definite given, and we tend to have a sense of self entitlement as regards it - and dare I say that this is particularly the case with the younger generation whose lives are governed by their smart phones and social media. Not only do we believe we are entitled to happiness, but we are also under the misconception that once happiness is attained it will be with us permanently. So we strive after it or simply expect it to drop in and are then shocked when upon attaining some degree of happiness that it disappears as quickly as it arrived. The result? We are more down in the dumps than we were in the first place.
Happiness may not always be achievable and rarely sustainable. We need to accept that happiness is hard to come by and even harder to keep. Maybe instead of happiness we should strive for contentment, for our minds to be at peace. We should strive to be satisfied with what we have and with our circumstances instead of craving something else (the old ‘grass is always greener’ scenario). We need to stop complaining, opposing and demanding. Surely this is what we should be reaching for - the absence of craving or worry. Now wouldn’t that be nice. To no longer complain and feel discontent. To no longer hear that constant dissatisfied murmuring.
Happiness or contentment? A rainbow in our brain or peace and tranquillity? Now there is a philosophical debate….
I am a qualified Early Years Practitioner and mother of three. In March 2023 I published my debut book, The Sum of all Parts - a work of contemporary fiction which is available worldwide. You can find me at www.sarasheeran.ampbk or at the blog www.author468.wordpress.com