Unpacking the Frazzled English Woman
It’s that time of year again. The most festive, you say? The holly-jolliest? No, of course not, don’t be silly. It’s the time that we all become frazzled. There are still nativity play costumes to make, and Christmas cards to write, and we can’t leave the house because it’s dark by 3:30. You will probably have seen videos showing you how to get the ‘frazzled English woman’ aesthetic – it’s a world of skinny scarves, layering and unnecessarily quaint swearing. But as I sit here, pint of ice cream in hand, pint of advocaat in the other, Bridget Jones playing in the background (i.e. all the hallmarks of a frazzled English woman), I can’t help but wonder, why have we been told to idolise this?
Let’s start off with the most basic of the basic: frazzled by definition means ‘extremely tired in a nervous or slightly worried way after a lot of mental or physical effort’ or ‘burned or dried out after being in the sun or cooking for too long’. Essentially, to be frazzled is to be stressed, exhausted and burnt out. Is that on any of your new year’s resolution lists? Is this what we’re manifesting for 2025? No, I thought not.
If you look at two of the poster girls of frazzledness, Bridget Jones and Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday, not only are they exhausted but they are also extremely insecure. Both women seem to base their entire self-worth on whether a man loves them. While I can understand the appeal of Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, and Rufus Sewell, I can’t help but feel that as women living in a post Lemonade world, we should all know our worth a little more than that. By aiming to emulate the style of these characters are we not subliminally emulating their values?
Not only this, but arguably the idea of this aesthetic as an ‘aesthetic’ is slightly farcical. Have you ever spent time in the UK? We wear big jumpers and cardigans and skinny scarves because it is COLD here. SO COLD. Our hair is messy because we have not had the time to brush it because we are actually frazzled, not just pretending to be.
Maybe that is where the pull of the frazzled English woman lies. Embracing her lets us embrace being messy, embrace the moments when we turn up to a dinner wearing too much blush, or fall over, or say the wrong things to our boss. Maybe the ideal frazzled English woman isn’t the one a Hollywood executive styled in the early 2000s to appeal to a man, maybe the ideal frazzled English woman is the one you actually are right now.
Do I have a lesson for you this week? I’m not entirely sure I do. Maybe to interrogate the values behind the aesthetics we are taught to pine for. Maybe to look after yourself in this most frazzling time of year. Maybe to remember that if Bridget Jones is loveable while constantly making mistakes then so are you. Or maybe, if all else fails, in true frazzled English woman style, sod it all and buy yourself a tub of quality street. You deserve it.