The Uniquely Humbling Experience That Is Losing Single Player Mario Kart at 3pm on a Monday Afternoon
This week I found myself playing Mario Kart on my own for the first time since the Wii was a current-gen console. I booted up Mario Kart 8 and decided that a 200cc Grand Prix was on the cards as I’m 21 years-old and wanted to race like a grown-up. The first race, Mario Circuit, started. I revved my engine at the right time, secured that crucial starting boost, and I was away.
What followed was a humbling experience. I was buffeted around by lovable characters careening into me at breakneck speed, walloping me with shell after shell with little-to-no respite, and consistently settling back into third place no matter how well I timed my drifting.
I ALWAYS win Mario Kart races when I play against real people (perhaps because I’m the only member of my family with a slightly toxic competitive streak), but after repeating this ordeal three more times, I finished the cup with a respectable, but disappointing, bronze trophy. I dropped my controller and sat there on the sofa reflecting on my failings.
To make matters worse, my younger brother then comes home from work and mocks me for not having a job and spending my time playing Mario Kart by myself like a loser.
And he’s right to say these things, and I know that he’s joking, but it stung because it was true.
Not to toot my own proverbial, but on paper I should have a job (I did have a job at the end of last year for about seven weeks, but that’s a story for another time perhaps). I graduated with a 2:1 in June 2024 and that should count for something, right? Yet here I am, playing Mario Kart on my ones.
The fallacy I’d been sold is that a degree was a fast track to employability. In my head it was the end goal and I’d hop into a job lickedy-split. My mum’s best friend is of this school of thought - ‘I’d give him a job on the spot, he’s clearly smart and he has a good degree from a good university.’ But that’s not enough and nor should it be.
What, then, is enough? For many companies it seems to be two or three years experience but then how do I get that in the first place. A lot of the time, it seems as though my problems would have been solved if I’d worked in a cafe for a bit as a teenager just so that I have something more on my CV, even if it’s of no relevance to anything I am applying for whatsoever.
I don’t want to just vent here, though that is what I have just done. Instead, I want to point out the obvious (which will be equally helpful to you I am sure). The job market is rough and it’s difficult to do anything to put yourself above the rest when the rest is SO MANY people (‘over 100 people have applied already you say? Well, good for them. I’ll just throw my hat in this ring of many many nicer hats.’)
(At risk of sounding too much like an insipidly inspirational LinkedIn post written by a hiring manager, back to Mario Kart).
But when you have a job, are you going to have the time to play Mario Kart on your ones? Maybe, but you certainly won’t be able to do it mid-afternoon on a Monday. So maybe this week you should think about what you did when you had total freedom. When you were a child and had a free day ahead of you, what would you do? See if you can rediscover a joy for something that you had when you were six - something that hasn’t crossed your mind for years to even attempt. Do something creative, fun, a lost hobby or skill - anything! You might not have as much time to rediscover when you finally get that job you’re looking for.
What I’m saying is this: if you feel you’re being lapped by other jobseekers (forgive me this groan-inducing metaphor-stretch), go and get lapped by Yoshi instead. If you’re tired of crafting a CV, craft something for yourself instead. And if you’re tired of reading this, pick up the book you’re supposedly reading and try reading more than ten pages without going on your phone - you’ve got this!
by Nathan Smith